I recently moved from a "small" town to a much bigger city. I was very excited to have a larger pool to swim in (ah, yes, cheesy metaphors with fun undertones). After 3 weeks, I have come to one conclusion: the pool is bigger, but it doesn't mean it is better! For this week's blog, I'd like to give you a snapshot of three potential dates. I will mirror our "conversations," (mispellings and grammatical mistakes included) then leave you hanging. At the end of it all, tell me - what would you do?
Potential 1: 10 years younger; Associate Degree; professes to be big on family and a Christian
Him: Hi how are you?
Me: Good morning! Having a good start to my Tuesday. You?
Him: Good morning same here actually my first day off in three months feels good.
Him: What you up too?
Me: Wow! That must be awesome. I'm at work. Getting back to a routine after the holidays.
Him: Yeah still have go to the bank and work on paperwork that I'm behind on....
... I'm off for three days then back on Friday
Me: So what do you do that keeps you busy for 3 months, off for 3 days?
Him: Yeah off for 3 days. I have my own business I do oil and gas consulting services. Basically oil and gas companies hire me so commissioning and start up there gas plants.
Me: You love it?
Him: I do
Him: :)
Him: I'm [name] by the way
Me: Hi [name}. I was just gonna call you T-cubed. Lol (his profile name was TTT) It's so important to enjoy one's work. What do you do when you're not working?
Him: Lol call me anything you like. Definitely is umm hiking, kayaking, fishing, Netflix, working out, eating out, spending time with family you?
Him: Any plans for tonight?
Me: Tonight ... was thinking of checking out some boot camp class. Depends on how I feel. Been a little zonked these past few days. Hoping I'm not coming down with something..
Him: Sounds like fun.
Him: Hope you get better
Me: I'm currently binge watching shows about the monarchy in England.
Him: Ha ha I love mid evil or history shows like that
Him: We should watch it together some night
Him: I just finished watching frontier
Him: Busy day at work? (I hadn't responded in 35 minutes)
Me: It waxes and wanes. I was at the library.
Him: Sounds like fun
Him: When are you done for the day?
Me: I leave work around 4 usually
Him: Sweet
Him: Busy tonight?
Me: You forgot already?
Him: no just checking if you want to hang out
Me: Not tonight but no plans tomorrow night or Thursday night
Him: Sounds good tomorrow night :)
Me: What would be the plan?
Him: Get dinner or watch a movie
Me: Dinner sounds lovely. I like food.
Him: perfect
Him: You have any more pictures of you? (Mind you - I have 5 on the dating site.)
Me: No. I'm like a ghost it's very difficult to capture my image on film.
Him: Lol
*****
Potential 2: I won't copy the whole exchange of messages. We chatted for several days, then actually had a coffee date. The date was okay: nothing great, but nothing terrible. He was nice, but I didn't feel an immediate connection. One note I will make is that at some point, I mentioned to him (during our texting) that I was trying to lose 10 pounds. He immediately asked if I looked like my pictures. I responded affirmatively. Well, lo and behold, he didn't exactly resemble his photos when we met. He definitely had put on a several pounds. Oh! And another thing - he was always leaning against something in his photos. I almost made a sarcastic comment to him, but was nervous that maybe it was because he had a disability or something. No - he's perfectly healthy.
We messaged a few times after the date, and then this:
It was a Tuesday evening, about 5:30pm -
Him: Hi cute girl
Me: Hey you. How's it going?
Him: Pretty good. Just dropped of my son
Me: Have a good Tuesday?
Him: It was busy, but not anymore
Me: Quiet evening, eh?
Him: Not sure yet
Me: *thinking face emoji*
Him: I guess I can just stay in
*****
Potential 3: This guy was a bit of a charmer up front, but he also understood the sarcasm in some of my responses. For a minute, it was amusing. Again, I remind you I have five pictures on the dating site. They are a variety, and give you the "full" picture of what I look like (nothing dirty! Get your mind out of the gutter!). I just mean the pictures are not all selfies of just my face. And I don't use filters. Anyways, here you go:
Him: Good morning again Kimberly.
Me: Morning!
Him: How's your evening? (yes, the day had passed)
Me: Hey! Pretty good. Getting ready to crash (just got to [insert city]). How's yours?
Him: Aaaaaah okay. You're there safe and sound. Not bad. Productive day. Finally gonna get my butt to the gym. No slackin lol
Me: Can't have that! lol
Him: Nope. Hada
Him: I see you're pretty fit. Are you on the slim or more on the Thicker side?
Me: I don't know what that means. My pictures are accurate
Him: Gotcha
*****
What would you do?
Next post, I'll tell you about some other exchanges, and here's to hoping I'll have something fun to report from my brunch date I have tomorrow!
I did have another date this week, but it won't make a blog post, at least not on it's own. B-O-R-I-N-G.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Date One: He showed up drunk
And you're asking yourself, why did I stay?
I don't think I could accurately describe the reasons why I do certain things. I'd probably be making up excuses or trying to justify stupid decisions. Hindsight is 20-20. Luckily, nothing horrible happened to me on this date. I got out alive and that is all that matters.
Since this is my first "date" post, please note that names of people and locations have been changed to protect the innocent and the stupid. I write these posts anonymously not because I'm ashamed, but because it will protect me from libel and slander suits down the road. Besides, these are for your reading pleasure, not to "slam" anyone.
Without further ado, let's jump right into this date:
Jerry and I met on Tinder. He seemed funny, but most importantly, he did what I asked: Asked me on a date! (Whatever happened to the days where a man would ask a woman out on a date?) The plan was to meet downtown, during the day, to have a drink. Not until I arrived did I remember that it was Kentucky Derby day, so it was very crowded, everywhere.
As I pull into downtown, I get a text: Are you still coming? Are you almost here?
Why, yes, of course I'm coming. I'm 5 minutes away. At this point, he let me know he was at Bar B. We had agreed to meet at Bar A and he was texting to let me know he would have to make the trek (about 6 blocks) back to Bar A to meet me. [Insert first *thinking emoji* here.] I parked my car and headed to Bar A. I didn't wait long before he arrived. As he entered, the bouncer shouted, hey, you're back! *thinking emoji* I suspected that Jerry was already drunk, but the naive, trusting part of me thought, nah - he wouldn't show up drunk, would he? Nonetheless, Jerry recognized me from my pictures, approached with arms extended and gave me a friendly hug. "Want a drink?"
Bar A was a local whiskey bar. It was packed with Kentucky derby fans and whiskey lovers alike. The 3rd *thinking emoji* is inserted here as I notice the bar is giving out raffle tickets with every drink special and I see that Jerry already has 3 raffle tickets as he asks the bartender for our drinks: a beer for me, a whiskey for him. Before I can even take a sip, Jerry asks if the beer is good.
As we start to chat, I learn lots of things about Jerry: in his own words, he's "old school;" his family is made up of potato farmers; he's related to a colleague of mine; he has a daughter; he's in a custody battle with his ex-wife. And then, "How's your beer? Is it good?" *thinking emoji* As we continue to chat, I begin to question his assertion of being "old school," because he's very concerned that I don't like sex. I won't spend much time on this one, but I will say, he brought the subject up several times throughout the date.
After about half an hour, Bar A holds a drawing. Jerry, would you believe it, is a winner! He wins an old whiskey barrel that is currently being used as a cocktail table. He was very excited, until he found out that the whiskey barrel was empty. To the bartender he asks, "So, you gonna fill this up?" Jerry was more than upset that they weren't going to fill his whiskey barrel. In a bit of a huff and before I can finish my beer, we leave for Bar C, which is just two doors down.
The conversation at this point is going downhill. It's entertaining, but besides asking me again if my beer is good, he won't get off the topic of sex and whether I like it. In fact, it was here that he told me he wanted to have sex with me. He immediately laughed and said he shouldn't have said that. Luckily, after a few moments, we met a couple. They seemed normal. Perhaps this will be a good distraction for Jerry to stop asking me about sex, and whether my beer is good. Heck, even if I was interested in having sex with him, he was too sloppy for me to even think it'd be any good. (What?!?! Why am I even considering you ask? Don't ask. Maybe it had been awhile ...)
Okay - back to the couple. After chatting for a bit (the conversation isn't anything interesting enough to recount here), we decide to leave the bar. We left and went to a hotel they were staying at about 10 minutes outside of downtown. On the way, we stopped for more drinks. Jerry got a six-pack. As we got back into the car, Jerry began to open a beer. I was pleased I only had to ask him kindly not to open it and he obliged.
Once at the hotel, we hung out with the couple and chatted about all kinds of things, but mostly about the guy's bum knee. They drank some (probably the only smart decision I made was to stop drinking at this point). They smoked some pot. The evening was approaching quickly, and I was getting hungry. Very hungry. I found our way out when the girl in the couple made Jerry cry by asking him about his dead grandmother. So, we left to grab some dinner downtown.
As I'm starting to drive us back downtown, Jerry proclaims that I am too intense for him and he'd like to go home. *sigh of relief* "Where shall I take you, Jerry?"
"I live in the East end." East end was through downtown. As I approached downtown, I hear something come Jerry's seat. I look over to see that Jerry has cracked open a beer in my car. *eyeroll* I was not nearly as nice about it this time, so he rolled down the window and chucked it out. Yep. The full beer. Out the window. On the busy road that leads into downtown.
My patience was growing thin. I cannot wait to get this guy out of my car. As soon as I frove us through downtown and into the East end, I asked him to tell me how to get to his house.
"I live in the North end," he says. Breathe. Just breathe, I tell myself.
I flip the car around as quickly as I can and start heading to the North side of downtown. Once again, as we get close, I tell him to give me directions.
"I live on the west side," he says.
"Nope. That's it. Where can I drop you off?" My patience is now gone.
"Oh, so that's where this is going?" he asks as if everything is going swell.
"Yep. Sure is."
Within seconds I was at a stop light. "Good bye, Jerry. This is your stop."
*****End of Date*****
P.S. A few weeks later, as I came to a quick stop, a full can of beer rolled out from under my passenger seat. Yes, it was Jerry's. I just laughed.
I don't think I could accurately describe the reasons why I do certain things. I'd probably be making up excuses or trying to justify stupid decisions. Hindsight is 20-20. Luckily, nothing horrible happened to me on this date. I got out alive and that is all that matters.
Since this is my first "date" post, please note that names of people and locations have been changed to protect the innocent and the stupid. I write these posts anonymously not because I'm ashamed, but because it will protect me from libel and slander suits down the road. Besides, these are for your reading pleasure, not to "slam" anyone.
Without further ado, let's jump right into this date:
Jerry and I met on Tinder. He seemed funny, but most importantly, he did what I asked: Asked me on a date! (Whatever happened to the days where a man would ask a woman out on a date?) The plan was to meet downtown, during the day, to have a drink. Not until I arrived did I remember that it was Kentucky Derby day, so it was very crowded, everywhere.
As I pull into downtown, I get a text: Are you still coming? Are you almost here?
Why, yes, of course I'm coming. I'm 5 minutes away. At this point, he let me know he was at Bar B. We had agreed to meet at Bar A and he was texting to let me know he would have to make the trek (about 6 blocks) back to Bar A to meet me. [Insert first *thinking emoji* here.] I parked my car and headed to Bar A. I didn't wait long before he arrived. As he entered, the bouncer shouted, hey, you're back! *thinking emoji* I suspected that Jerry was already drunk, but the naive, trusting part of me thought, nah - he wouldn't show up drunk, would he? Nonetheless, Jerry recognized me from my pictures, approached with arms extended and gave me a friendly hug. "Want a drink?"
Bar A was a local whiskey bar. It was packed with Kentucky derby fans and whiskey lovers alike. The 3rd *thinking emoji* is inserted here as I notice the bar is giving out raffle tickets with every drink special and I see that Jerry already has 3 raffle tickets as he asks the bartender for our drinks: a beer for me, a whiskey for him. Before I can even take a sip, Jerry asks if the beer is good.
As we start to chat, I learn lots of things about Jerry: in his own words, he's "old school;" his family is made up of potato farmers; he's related to a colleague of mine; he has a daughter; he's in a custody battle with his ex-wife. And then, "How's your beer? Is it good?" *thinking emoji* As we continue to chat, I begin to question his assertion of being "old school," because he's very concerned that I don't like sex. I won't spend much time on this one, but I will say, he brought the subject up several times throughout the date.
After about half an hour, Bar A holds a drawing. Jerry, would you believe it, is a winner! He wins an old whiskey barrel that is currently being used as a cocktail table. He was very excited, until he found out that the whiskey barrel was empty. To the bartender he asks, "So, you gonna fill this up?" Jerry was more than upset that they weren't going to fill his whiskey barrel. In a bit of a huff and before I can finish my beer, we leave for Bar C, which is just two doors down.
The conversation at this point is going downhill. It's entertaining, but besides asking me again if my beer is good, he won't get off the topic of sex and whether I like it. In fact, it was here that he told me he wanted to have sex with me. He immediately laughed and said he shouldn't have said that. Luckily, after a few moments, we met a couple. They seemed normal. Perhaps this will be a good distraction for Jerry to stop asking me about sex, and whether my beer is good. Heck, even if I was interested in having sex with him, he was too sloppy for me to even think it'd be any good. (What?!?! Why am I even considering you ask? Don't ask. Maybe it had been awhile ...)
Okay - back to the couple. After chatting for a bit (the conversation isn't anything interesting enough to recount here), we decide to leave the bar. We left and went to a hotel they were staying at about 10 minutes outside of downtown. On the way, we stopped for more drinks. Jerry got a six-pack. As we got back into the car, Jerry began to open a beer. I was pleased I only had to ask him kindly not to open it and he obliged.
Once at the hotel, we hung out with the couple and chatted about all kinds of things, but mostly about the guy's bum knee. They drank some (probably the only smart decision I made was to stop drinking at this point). They smoked some pot. The evening was approaching quickly, and I was getting hungry. Very hungry. I found our way out when the girl in the couple made Jerry cry by asking him about his dead grandmother. So, we left to grab some dinner downtown.
As I'm starting to drive us back downtown, Jerry proclaims that I am too intense for him and he'd like to go home. *sigh of relief* "Where shall I take you, Jerry?"
"I live in the East end." East end was through downtown. As I approached downtown, I hear something come Jerry's seat. I look over to see that Jerry has cracked open a beer in my car. *eyeroll* I was not nearly as nice about it this time, so he rolled down the window and chucked it out. Yep. The full beer. Out the window. On the busy road that leads into downtown.
My patience was growing thin. I cannot wait to get this guy out of my car. As soon as I frove us through downtown and into the East end, I asked him to tell me how to get to his house.
"I live in the North end," he says. Breathe. Just breathe, I tell myself.
I flip the car around as quickly as I can and start heading to the North side of downtown. Once again, as we get close, I tell him to give me directions.
"I live on the west side," he says.
"Nope. That's it. Where can I drop you off?" My patience is now gone.
"Oh, so that's where this is going?" he asks as if everything is going swell.
"Yep. Sure is."
Within seconds I was at a stop light. "Good bye, Jerry. This is your stop."
*****End of Date*****
P.S. A few weeks later, as I came to a quick stop, a full can of beer rolled out from under my passenger seat. Yes, it was Jerry's. I just laughed.
Friday, January 11, 2019
What in the F*(&^?!?!
We can't make this stuff up. Seriously. Life as a single lady in these "modern" times is ... well, weird. Dating is not like it used to be. Making friends as an adult is one of the strangest adventures. The only "normal" thing I've got going is my job.
One of my best friends (she's single, too) and I were sharing our dating stories, or lack thereof. It's hard to get a date these days. It doesn't matter if you're tall, thin and blond or something else. Guys are losing their nerve and no longer know how to act like a gentleman. But I cannot accept that the only way to meet a good one is to swipe right, start the conversation and force an in-person meeting. What ever happened to good ol' fashioned flirting in the grocery store? Somehow this culminated in a new idea: let's write a blog!
If it sounds like we started this blog to help you find your one true love, I suggest you move along. We have no answers. We have no advice. All we have are our stories. After some deliberation (not much really), I asked my friend if she wanted to start a blog with me. We've got some stories to tell. They're probably not nearly as interesting to you as they are to us, but what the heck? I thought if we shared them, and committed to one blog post a week each, then perhaps we would be motivated to spend some time with people we otherwise wouldn't give a second look. Perhaps we could experience some new adventures to spice up our own lives and simply just enjoy life.
What's the deal? We'll post once a week. We'll shoot for 2 dates a month. We'll share our dating and non-dating stories. Funny or not. Maybe by spending more time online, writing, searching, sharing, we can find more offline fun! Our first blogs are coming . . . Get ready!
Want a preview? My first blog includes a story about a date who came from a family of potato farmers and forgot where he lived. What will my girlfriend post? Oh the anticipation ...
One of my best friends (she's single, too) and I were sharing our dating stories, or lack thereof. It's hard to get a date these days. It doesn't matter if you're tall, thin and blond or something else. Guys are losing their nerve and no longer know how to act like a gentleman. But I cannot accept that the only way to meet a good one is to swipe right, start the conversation and force an in-person meeting. What ever happened to good ol' fashioned flirting in the grocery store? Somehow this culminated in a new idea: let's write a blog!
If it sounds like we started this blog to help you find your one true love, I suggest you move along. We have no answers. We have no advice. All we have are our stories. After some deliberation (not much really), I asked my friend if she wanted to start a blog with me. We've got some stories to tell. They're probably not nearly as interesting to you as they are to us, but what the heck? I thought if we shared them, and committed to one blog post a week each, then perhaps we would be motivated to spend some time with people we otherwise wouldn't give a second look. Perhaps we could experience some new adventures to spice up our own lives and simply just enjoy life.
What's the deal? We'll post once a week. We'll shoot for 2 dates a month. We'll share our dating and non-dating stories. Funny or not. Maybe by spending more time online, writing, searching, sharing, we can find more offline fun! Our first blogs are coming . . . Get ready!
Want a preview? My first blog includes a story about a date who came from a family of potato farmers and forgot where he lived. What will my girlfriend post? Oh the anticipation ...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)